


Soulmates

by myheartisoverseas



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Character Death, Crying, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Established Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Richie Tozier, Graphic Description, Heavy Angst, Holding Hands, Hurt No Comfort, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Matchmaker Beverly Marsh, Minor Bill Denbrough/Beverly Marsh, No Smut, OTP Feels, Plot Twists, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Romantic Soulmates, Sad Ending, Soft Richie Tozier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-18 12:29:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21660847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myheartisoverseas/pseuds/myheartisoverseas
Summary: Your world goes black and white when your soulmate dies.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Richie Tozier/Stanley Uris
Comments: 6
Kudos: 49





	1. Chapter 1

Richie's hand had always felt so right in Eddie's. He felt almost as if he really belonged in this world in those small moments, holding Eddie's hand, when he could feel...the way he really felt for once. When those moments came, Richie didn't have to hide anymore. He could let his heart lead him, and not have to pretend he was somebody else just to _be safe_.

Eddie didn't talk about his feelings much, unless he was complaining about his mom. Richie didn't know if it was because Eddie never really felt sad, or alone, or worthless or...anything like that. Or if Eddie had just become used to being silent. Sometimes Richie would stay up thinking about it. He would ask himself...would it be better to feel but never talk about it, or never to feel at all? His opinion on that changed a lot lately.

Something Richie had always found somewhat sweet was that Eddie never _told_ Richie how he felt, or even really told him how much he loved him. But he would show it in the most subtle, and most obvious of ways. It came in the light brushes of their arms in school hallways, or Eddie asking how Richie had slept. But it also came through in the pillow soft press of his lips against the other boy's when they were alone, or in moments like these. When they walked hand in hand through empty parks, Richie gently squeezing Eddie's hand from time to time to remind him through their comfortable quiet 'I love you'.

Soulmates had always been a common topic in life. Everyone was born with a world of color, bright and big and free. When your soulmate died, that color would bleed away into nothing but gray. It was known to all but strangely ignored by many. It seemed that only those whose soulmates had already died could even bother to care.

Richie remembered being young-8 or 9 maybe- and seeing on his dull, static covered TV screen that an accident had taken place on Main Street, a few blocks away from his house. A young woman had been killed, flying through the windshield and flying at least a good 10 or 15 feet away before landing in the other lane. Her body had been cut to pieces by shards of glass, and bruised and beaten from the impact. Her skull had cracked right down the middle, leaving nothing but a horrifying lifeless corpse behind in its place. It was hard for a kid to imagine something like that, but Richie could imagine it now. He only remembered it at all for one simple reason.

_A man, aged 28, leaving him only 2 years older than the deceased woman, appears on screen. He looks tired...but perhaps a better word for it is haunted. He looks haunted. There are dark bags under his eyes, and his clothes blow in the wind like there is a lot of space to fill underneath. He seems like he hasn't slept or eaten in days, and his beard is patchy like he tried to shave but couldn't quite focus on it enough to continue. "I knew before I got the call," The man chokes, cutting off with a sniff as his eyes fill with tears. Someone from off screen claps their hand on his shoulder, a silent comfort, before pulling away. "The whole world lost color. It was like someone turned the lights off to everything. It was..." The man trailed off, a distant look in his eyes. "It was the worst thing I've ever seen."_

Since then, Richie had thought often about soulmates. He would hear girls giggling in school halls about their new relationships, whispering about soulmates and that long eternity of love. Richie never saw any of them last forever. A few months would pass and soon enough he'd see them heartbroken in the hallways, leaning against lockers but with a world still very much full of color.

Now 16, Richie would look at Eddie, and think he finally understood. He could sit in complete silence with Eddie and feel perfectly content, or be laughing his ass off with him and feel the same way. It didn't matter if they were alone or with their entire group of friends, the bond between them remained just as strong. Eddie would have said...it felt serious but yet not serious at all. It was complicated, hard to understand but yet so easy to _feel._ Everything felt simple with Eddie, even if it wasn't at all. Richie was far from used to feeling so safe with someone.

There was only part of it that wasn't simple to him. If anybody were to find out about them-classmates, parents, anyone- they'd be cast out of the town within the hour. Richie's greatest relief was that when their friends discovered them, they didn't point in their face and laugh or draw away in disgust. Beverly and Bill had been thrilled, insisting they'd known all along as Bill reluctantly placed bet money in Beverly's outstretched palm. Ben had asked a lot of questions, some weirder than others. Mike had been very hesitant at first, more confused than anything, but in the end he'd understood and accepted them fully. And Stan- Well...Stan smiled softly, not a grin by any means, just a small upturn on the lips. Richie found himself mildly captivated by it, but for what reason he did not know. The two of them forgot it shortly after.

And tonight...this very night, was one of those moments. It was late, far past the still remaining curfew. Richie and Eddie walked hand in hand, a rare moment of tranquility between the two. Their time together usually included a lot of playful arguing, shoving, swearing, and laughter. Not just to appear as only friends, but because that was _them_. They had fun together above all else and that's what mattered. That didn't mean these quiet moments meant any less, though.

Richie's chest felt warm, a swell of happiness and calm filling his body and heating him from the inside out. As they walked, their shoulders would brush, causing Eddie to look away in embarrassment. Somehow, Eddie had grown quite a bit this past year, but Richie would never admit it. Richie was still taller, but only by a couple inches, leaving it much easier for them to fall into step together. "Hey," Richie said, his voice loud in the silent air. Eddie hummed his acknowledgement. Richie stopped, turning to Eddie but keeping their hands held together.

Eddie blinked, an expression of confusion and surprise on his face. Richie cleared his throat, suddenly nervous. "I just wanted to tell you, Eds," Richie began. Eddie opened his mouth to complain about the nickname, but shut it upon seeing how serious Richie's expression was. "I think you're my soulmate. We've only been together, what, 10 months? But I look at you, Eddie, and I-I just know." Richie had his eyes closed, his cheeks dusted a light pink against his pale skin. "You make me feel _okay_. You make me feel like no matter who's against us, we'll be alright," Richie whispered sincerely.

"It's been 10 months and we've never even said I love you, but God, Eddie, I love you. I love you more than I've ever loved anything in my life and it scares me. That's how much I love you," Richie told him, his voice shaking with the power of his emotions. Eddie's eyes were full of tears, his lip quivering. "I love you too, Tozier. I've always known we were soulmates, since we were kids," Eddie whispered, a single tear rolling down his tanned cheeks. Richie laughed out of joy, a smile on his face but a sob coming out of his mouth. Eddie pushed up on his tiptoes and pressed his lips to Richie's, their eyes closing simultaneously. Richie kept their hands held together at one side, but used his free hand to push into Eddie's hair, combing through his brown locks.

They finally pulled apart, pushing away from each other slowly. Richie's eyes opened blissfully slow, his heart feeling warm. But as his vision cleared, his stomach fell.

_Everything was gray._

Richie was reached out to Eddie in a panic, checking the boy over for injury. Eddie frowned in confusion, pushing his frantic hands away. "Richie, what are you doing?" Eddie asked sharply. Richie's blood went ice cold, freezing in his veins and stuttering his mind to a stop. Eddie was _fine_. He wasn't hurt, he wasn't dying, and he certainly wasn't _dead_.

Which meant...

Richie felt sick, his hand flying up to cover his mouth as he gagged. He could faintly hear Eddie's calls of worry but nothing was louder than the horror clanging in his head, ringing in his ears, surrounding him. He bent over, trying to hold in the bile that was building in his throat. His eyes lifted up to scan his surroundings, the night sky, once dark violet and navy blue sprinkled with white stars, was now the color of ash. It almost looked like someone had printed a photograph of it in black and white. The grass, once bright green, was gray as well. But nothing was worse than seeing Eddie.

It had once been his favorite thing to do. He could have stared at Eddie for hours and never been bored. Now, looking at him caused a rippling ache through his body of _guilt_ and _horror_. The one who had finally taught him how to love, how life truly worked, how to understand people. He was never Richie's soulmate at all. Whoever it was, was now _dead,_ for who knows why.

Richie's eyes flicked from Eddie's gray eyes full of concern, to his gray lips, to his gray hands, and he knew.

He would _never_ be able to understand soulmates. _Ever._


	2. Stanley Uris and Richie Tozier are Soulmates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie's soulmate lives long enough to be okay with dying.

Stanley had made a lot of decisions in his lifetime that he was more than proud of, and there had been a lot of times when he had surprised himself with his own bravery. The day he walked away from Richie Tozier instead of telling him how he felt, was not one of those times.

It had been a bitter cold autumn day, a Saturday to be specific. He remembered it like it had been yesterday...

_The losers had rode their bikes together down to the barrens, hoping to splash around in the creek one more time before it got too cold or froze over for winter. Beverly had hopped off her bike eagerly, letting it clatter noisily to the ground. Eddie was next to follow, skidding to a stop just before the slope, setting his bike on the ground a bit more gently and following her down._

_One by one, the losers all got off their bikes and laid them on the ground. Stan tried to mimic Beverly's hop-off technique, but only managed to stumble over his own feet and nearly knock his own bike over on top of himself. He had never been the most agile of the group, that was obvious..._

_As Stan put down his kickstand, he heard Richie laughing. He looked up, mildly alarmed, and saw that Richie was the only one who had seen his misstep. "Shut up, Richie," Stan grumbled, looking away with an overexaggerated eyeroll to hide his blush. Something about the way Richie laughed always seemed to do that to him._

_He followed Richie down the bank to meet the other losers, and they were greeted by a large splash of icy water. Richie shrieked, his voice reaching a very high pitch. Bill wheezed out a laugh, falling over from the force of his hysterics and splashing into the water. "R-R-Richie screams like a guh-girl!" Bill exclaimed, causing the others to burst out laughing too. Stan chuckled to fit in, but he was more focused on how flustered and offended Richie looked. His cheeks had gone bright red, either from the cold breeze or embarrassment, Stan didn't know. He decided it was probably both as Richie crossed his arms, glaring at Bill._

_"I don't scream like a girl! I was just showing the way Eddie's mom moans when I'm going down on her," Richie teased, winking at Eddie. Eddie gasped in disgust as Mike howled with laughter. "She screams like she's getting murdered when you're going down on her?" Bev wheezed out through bouts of laughter. Richie opened his mouth to retort but closed it once he realized he was beat._

_Stan had been sitting in relatively quiet amusement, smirking at the idiotic scene. His eyes fell once again on Richie as the other boy stood there, pouting. His hair was soaked, jet black strands plastered to the sides of his head and to his forehead. His clothing hung to his body as if suction cupped, accentuating every miniature movement. His bottom lip stuck out in an overdramatic pout, his head pointed slightly away from them all._

_He looked beautiful._

_Stan had always somewhat felt this way about Richie, but it hadn't become quite so bad until recently. It was as if suddenly Richie became the object of all his wishes and dreams. He wanted to go birdwatching with him, hold his hand, listen to music and go on bike rides together. The thoughts were broken by Ben's scream of "My balls are about to freeze off! To the bikes!". The other losers exclaimed their agreements, and Stan was suddenly aware of how wildly he was shivering. He sprung up to follow them, and they all sped home on their bikes as fast as possible as the wind picked up speed._

_Once Stan arrived in his front yard, his two remaining friends, Mike and Richie, stopped to say goodbye. "Bye Stan!" Mike called, waving. Stan continued wheeling his bike up the driveway, lost in thought. "See you at school on Monday," Richie added casually. Upon hearing his voice, Stan stopped in his tracks. He turned, his mouth falling open as his mind cursed at him to just say it._

_But he didn't. He turned away with a forced smile and walked inside._

Nowadays, it was his greatest regret. Since he'd discovered Richie and Eddie were together, he'd felt alright. He didn't mind it much except for how _seeing them together tore him apart and it was all he could ever think about and his feelings wouldn't fucking go away._ He'd see the kind of banter you can only really have with people you're very close to, be able to feel the bond between Richie and Eddie as if it were as obvious as the feeling of cold rain on his own skin. It was just normal for everyone to witness now, but a part of him always wished he had the chance to be that close to Richie.

Stan wasn't really used to thinking about someone this much. His whole childhood he never really had crushes, there had been a couple girls and confusingly enough to his younger self, a couple boys. But nothing more than 2nd and 3rd grade romance. He'd always been kind of a loner...he'd always had friends but he never really felt that close to any of them. He always felt like the one left out of the group, or like he was the annoying one. So he occupied himself with the company of birds, photographing them and sketching them in his notebook and just sitting outside and watching them for hours on end.

Maybe that's why his feelings for Richie had always been too confusing for him to act on. He didn't know _how_. He wasn't exactly a people person by any means. He just got so nervous talking to people he didn't know, and now he felt so nervous talking to Richie because he wanted to get to know him _so bad_. His own feelings didn't make sense to him.

But he knew that he could sit in math class, zone out and dream of Richie. Dream of touching his skin and feeling him next to him, being able to love and be loved. And that class would feel a lot shorter than normal...

So now, he gazes from a distance as Richie turns to Eddie, a lovesick look in his eyes as he speaks words that Stan can't hear. He knows Richie must be saying very loving words by the way Richie adoringly tilts his head to look at Eddie. The same way Stan would dream of Richie looking at him. There's a numbness spreading through his body as he turns and walks away. It's late, no one should be out at this time in Derry, and Stan wonders what God cursed him to randomly stumble upon this scene tonight. He follows his feet blindly as they lead him away as fast as possible. It's summer now, a long time since he made that dreaded mistake in late November. It still feels fresh in his mind.

He doesn't recognize that he's stepping into the road, or the impending lights of a distracted driver. His mind is occupied by his thoughts. He turns, pure seconds before it all ends. The car is white, he notes, numb thoughts filling his head as he recognizes he's going to die. He wonders why that doesn't bother him as the car collides with his body. He feels the impact, a sharp pain on one side that ripples to the other side, overtaking his whole form just before he blacks out. He faintly hears someone yelling, the driver he assumes, as he comes to again. His body aches, and he doesn't dare move for fear of the agony that would ensue if he did.

He can see the driver now, a tall man, beardless and thin. He's frozen in place, his hands over his mouth, too shocked to speak. Stan feels himself shutting down, his breaths getting shallower and his heartbeat slowing. His body wants to panic, but his mind is too tired to worry about anything.

His eyes flutter shut, then open again, and he can see his blood splattered across the once white metal hood of the vehicle. He can feel it seeping from somewhere on his body, pooling around him and warming his cold skin. He could taste it in his mouth, feel it running from his ears, and suddenly he couldn't breathe anymore.

Yesterday felt like a thousand years ago, each second passing like it was hours. His body feebly tried to take another breath, his chest stuttering and lungs aching. It doesn't work, and he gives in. The familiar darkness of the cold and lonely nights surrounds him now, swallowing him up, surrounding him, and drowning him in it's hopelessness. And he lets it, wondering if he could fight harder if he wanted to. If Richie was here, maybe he would. But as it is, he lets the darkness bathe him, swallowing his soul.

His thinks of Richie. The happy moments when Richie would grin at him with those crooked teeth, or gently push him and laugh it off. Those sad moments when Richie wouldn't hear what he said, too focused on staring at Eddie from across the hall. He dreams of what would happen if Richie had loved him back...

_Love?_

Yes...it was love after all. He'd always felt it was a crush, but in those last moments of consciousness, he knew it wasn't. All of his fears felt irrelevant when he was standing next to Richie. If the world was ending, it was Richie he'd want to be with. That was how Stanley knew it was love. No matter how much he'd always tried to convince himself that the boy wasn't that important to him, didn't matter that much to him...those feelings never dulled. He knew he was meant for Richie.

Somehow he always knew the things to say to make Stan laugh. He always knew how to make him feel protected. If Richie had loved him back, Stan just _knew_ he could have died happy. He could be content and smile as he closed his eyes one last time... but dying now, even feeling everything around him fade into the distance as his eyes slowly shut...the agony of his broken bones and torn flesh...none of it hurt as bad as knowing Richie would never know how Stan felt about him.

His last thought is of Richie as he _feels_ his heart stop.

Let it be known.

The last thing Stanley Uris ever felt was regret.

**Author's Note:**

> <3


End file.
